2020 – a year seared into our memories.

Our lives turned upside down overnight. As we have just surpassed our one-year anniversary in isolation, and “social distancing” having become rooted in our everyday vocabulary as more than just a catchy buzzphrase, I wanted to share my memories of my last “normal” week. Could we even forget? I’m not sure where we’ll all be at this point in 2022, but I do know I’d like to remind myself of “the where, when and now” for an idle Wednesday down the road, let’s say in 2042. To put pen to paper, and then record this interesting time here in my digital space – lest I forget what it was like, who I was.

March of 2020 started off on a rather calm note. I had finally announced our surprise 4th pregnancy so it was no longer a secret that I had to work to hide. I had also just started overcoming my extreme fatigue and nausea. I was feeling more like myself and game for getting out and about. Life was still beating along as it always does, as it always had.

Of course, COVID was a very real news headline at this point around the world, but the whisperings of a potential lockdown in the United States just didn’t seem real enough. Surely that wouldn’t happen here. It couldn’t, right? So at the advice of my Asian mom nagging at me, I went on my way, slowly stockpiling emergency grocery staples that we could stretch for two weeks, while cautiously still getting out and about my daily life. I’ll always remember that time I was able to get TWO jars of Clorox Wipes at the store!

It wasn’t until that last week when the potential for an upcoming statewide lockdown was becoming more realistic that it hit me just how deserted the town was. On March 11, I had my last meal out in a restaurant with a couple of my girlfriends — we were the only ones there. Over Spanish tapas, we speculated about an impending virtual school situation (as the decision to shut down schools was not yet made) and we joked about seeing each other again in two weeks. The tone was very much “This is beyond crazy but I’ll see you soon.” How naive were we?

If I’m being completely honest, had I known that that would have been my last time inside a restaurant for over an entire year (and counting), I think I’d indulge in it a bit more. Perhaps order all the yummy tapas dishes on the menu as opposed to just a few. And maybe ask for that sangria, instead of the tap water.

I also went to the local art store to stock up on a bunch of drawing and sketch pads and fun art supplies for my kids – and I’m cracking up now as I look back on my Instagram story from that day: “Ya know, in case schools get closed and then I’m stuck at home while they fight over the few random sheets of white computer paper we have in the house.” Those sketch pads would turn out to house all the precious “pandemic artwork” created by my kids as they tuned into the daily Youtube videos “Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems” especially in the first month of lockdown.

The next day, Thursday, I went to town with my 3 year old for the last time before lockdown, where we enjoyed our only meal in a scaled down Princeton Restaurant Week at Nassau Street Seafood. I started to wonder, “Should I even be here? Is this safe?” Nevertheless, Atticus and I took our calamari + chips and ceviche tacos outside to eat. I kept reminding him, “Don’t touch anything!” and scolding, “Hurry, rub that hand sanitizer in!” It was literally in slo-mo every time the precious hand sanitizer slid off his hands onto the ground and I felt myself die a little inside. Later, as we walked around town, I asked a random passer-by on the street to take a picture for us, not knowing that would be the last time I’d ever let a stranger touch my phone again.

That last week I also was invited to attend a preview of a new show at McCarter Theatre, which I attended solo because I couldn’t get any of my friends to come as my guest – my guess is no one wanted to risk COVID. Masks were not yet even on anyone’s radar at this time, so I went and cautiously sat in an empty last row all by myself, even though I had front row tickets. As it turned out, the show never had the chance to premiere the following week because it was cancelled due to lockdown. And just like that, the McCarter stage, like all other theaters, went dark for what will ultimately be a whole year — and counting.

Then suddenly over the weekend, NJ Governor Phil Murphy officially announced that all schools will be closed for two weeks with virtual instruction starting Monday. I had just done my last major grocery run, having anticipated lockdown. We settled in.

Of course, the weeks, and following months that followed were unlike anything we anticipated. How could we? The initial numbers were staggering. PPE was scarce. Hospital beds were limited. And here I was, living in NJ just an hour from NYC, the epicenter of it all. Those initial weeks in March were the hardest for me. It was all about adapting – surviving – a new way of school. Virtual school. Suddenly I became a 2nd Grade Teacher, a Kindergarten Chinese Immersion Teacher, Lunch Lady, PE Instructor, and Hall Monitor.

To cope, I leaned into creative outlets, trying to keep myself busy by leaning into learning TikTok (yes, us millennials started crowding this Gen Z platform in droves during the pandemic). I bought my first tripod and clicker. I don’t really know how I would have gotten through the pandemic without TikTok, to be honest. It gave me joy and humor when I needed it most – not to mention TikTok food recipes in 15 seconds or less. I got really good at bulk grocery shopping and being a quarantine chef, making diverse and delicious meals for my family of 5 who were now home full-time. All the while, I was chugging along at 22 weeks pregnant when the pandemic began.

As weeks turned into months, we neared summer and we were at the peak of the pandemic. Drive-by birthdays and graduations were a “thing” now. There were limits on cleaning products and certain grocery items. Masks were now required everywhere, and unfortunately so were “Karens”. (If this is you in 2042 reading this, you can probably still Urban Dictionary what it means to be a “Karen”.) It was supposed to get worse still before it got better.

Being pregnant during a pandemic was not something I could have ever dreamed of or planned for. Once we went into lockdown mode in March, I converted all my OB prenatal appointments to virtual Telehealth. New hospital rules only allowed one companion to enter with me. We would have our temperature taken upon entering the hospital and I would be required a COVID test upon admission. There would be no visitors or in-out privileges. We would have to wear a mask the entire hospital stay, yes, even during labor and delivery. More on how the actual birth process went in a future post…

This post barely scratches the surface of what our lives were like in 2020. I’d like to pause here and remind my future 2042 self, that 2020 held a lot of silver linings, as well. Silver linings that showed our true grit and strength, our resilience and desire for human connections. Some big and small blessings that showed us how we could all live and make do with a little less. Some unexpected outcomes of solidarity for social justice issues. In a lot of ways, 2020 helped us all see a little more of our own humanities and those of others.

Hopefully, in 2042, when my mind goes to wandering at 3am, I will remember who and what I used to be, what I went through, and what I overcame.

Tell me, what memories do you have of your last “normal” day?